Single parent not dating
Even if all that happened was a no-strings fling, I was still more interested in what they were like as people – did they have ambition? Well, it turns out there is a whole other layer of disappointment that someone in my position has to deal with.
First up, there was the guy who told me he didn’t really like women with children and it annoyed him that there were so many mums on dating sites – even though I had written it clearly on my profile!
I once crammed four dates with different men into two days, but as my ability to pick interesting and nice men online seemed to be rather lacking, having four bad dates in two days was just too depressing to repeat. But I still think I deserve someone really special.
Although I had no intention of introducing any of these casual dates to my son, the fact I am a parent did make me feel differently about whom I was choosing to spend time with. I’m sure anyone who has tried online dating has come across the married people, or the guys who are actually a foot shorter, 10 years older and 3st heavier than their profile suggests.
WHEN I told Tom*, a guy I was dating, that I didn’t want to see him any more as we ‘wanted different things’, he probably thought I meant marriage and commitment.
You know, the things women are so unimaginatively accused of wanting more than men?
I realise I’m not a teenager any more, but that doesn’t mean I want to fast-track to a relationship that involves arguing over the remote control when Match of The Day is on.
Then there is simply my lack of free time – my son goes to stay with his dad every other weekend, so I have precisely 48 hours a fortnight to have fun. In truth, I doubt we’re even seen as a great catch and imagine lots of people think I should just settle for whoever I’m lucky enough to get.
Now when I spot the word ‘spontaneous’ in a man’s dating profile, I swipe left.
In fact, I know I will meet someone special one day.
Someone who understands that being a mum will always come first, but that I also want and deserve an exciting social and sex life as much as anyone who doesn’t have kids.
I do realise this all sounds pretty depressing, but then, by some miracle, when I’d been single for around a year I met Jack* – someone I really liked who seemed to really like me.
As his kids were grown up, he didn’t suggest we have our first date at a soft play area or express his disdain for solo parents.
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At first, it seemed exciting creating profiles on and Plenty of Fish and immediately getting loads of messages.