Invalidating environment definition
We have been conditioned to think that invalidation is "normal." Indeed, it is extremely common, but it is certainly not healthy.
I have also heard them say things like: "He cries at the drop of a hat." One teacher said "When she starts to cry, I just ignore her and eventually she stops." Another said, "When one kid's crying is disrupting the lesson, I tell them to go cry in the hall till they can pull themselves back together again."All invalidation is a form of psychological attack.
For example, you might respond, "I feel invalidated," "I feel mocked," or "I feel judged."One factor common to most people who self-injure, whether they were abused or not, is invalidation.And I've also noticed that the very people who tell me this will also eventually deal with frustrating things, and they don't follow their own advice.See, it's different when something happens to THEM....not when it's me.In abusive homes, they may have been severely punished for expressing certain thoughts and feelings.When your awareness rises, you'll begin to notice such comments on a regular basis. We wonder if there is something wrong with us for feeling how we do.
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Recently, I had a few situations to come up that called for some comfort from my friends. A few came through for me in just 'being there'..others took it as their cue to 'give advice'..believe me, it only made the situation worse. I don't make the habit of asking my friends for advice....believe me.