Dating for over 40
When seeking a new mate, you have way more responsibilities and things that demand your attention at this stage than when you were in college or just graduating.
"Dating is going to have a different landscape after 40 because people are more likely to have been through a divorce or have kids," relationships expert Jennifer Seiter told me.
As Roger Ziegler, a 15-year certified life and relationship coach, told me, "Hopefully, by now, you are looking for a connection that goes beyond the surface appearance of things.
Kindness and good conversation are more important than looks or wealth." He also pointed to what you may look for when it comes to online dating profiles.
"You're less impressed with the shirtless man standing next to a sleeping tiger and more interested in visiting a nature preserve for tiger viewing," he said, referencing how social media postings on dating apps are designed to impress, and may be more about artifice than reality, with a younger generation.
For example, if you have kids, your new partner may feel neglected if you pay more attention to them, than her or him." If you are diving back into the dating pool in your 40s, expect Former spouses may remain in the picture — in your life or theirs — thus, creating some drama. "You or your new mate may have an ex that is trying to sabotage the new relationship," Seiter said.
"The disruption can manifest in subtle or passive aggressive ways, such as verbal barbs or dropping in under the guise of seeing the kids." These realities make establishing a new relationship a little bit tougher, since there are a variety of emotions, feelings, and scenarios that come into play.
When you are in your 40s and re-entering the dating scene, it can be scary because you haven't done it in a while and are a little rusty.
By the age of 27, you are several years removed from college, likely already installed in a solid job, all those obligatory one-night-stands are out of the way, and you've had enough time to settle down and find "the one." The idea of dating after 40 simply didn't exist.
But while divorce rates have decreased, after a steady uptick, plenty of people re-enter the dating scene later in life.